Sexual immorality

So, swinging (partner swapping between married people), polyamory, divorce and remarriage (without an annulment), sex before marriage, prostitution, adultery, using prostitutes, participating in pornography, same sex relationships, watching porn and onanism are all outside of Christian living.

The reason for this is because they're all lust and self-based and not love-based. But should you find yourself having succumbed to any immorality then run to the confessional where you'll find a merciful God just waiting to embrace you. As Father Jerome Bertrand used to say, "God is actually on our side".

We're not ignorant of the results of sexual immorality. St Paul says that those who indulge will never inherit the kingdom. Jesus warns us that for those who cannot resist there is only one destination where their worm does not die.

We know this to mean that what remains of them is tormented by Satan in Hell; that their thirst is never quenched.  The place they inhabit is Gehenna which is the collecting basin for those who chose a lifetime of going against what they know to be right. For Christians, to embrace this path is death: the wages of sin are death. 

Immorality is the direct opposite of entering through the narrow gate.

We know that the non-Christian way is an anything goes way; a do what you like way. But this is the Evil One's treachery. He says we can live together without marriage, have children made in test tubes, divorce and remarry, be in same sex relationships. And not only should this be tollerated, it should be openly embraced.

And sex? This is a recreational activity which anyone can enjoy any way they choose: As long as nobody gets hurt. But that's the problem. If a Christian chooses a life without discipline then he/she hurts their neighbour by the way they live their lives. All one has to do is look at the reaction of a non-believer when a Christian is discovered living an immoral life. There's an outcry and people look down on then. They're appalled. When it's discovered that a priest, a pastor or a vicar has made bad choices then the hurt they inflict echoes throughout the whole of the community. And so it is for us: when we sin we hurt the souls and psychies of our brothers and sisters - even if they do not believe in God. They may not recognise it as hurt but they are indeed wounded by our actions.

If a Christian chooses selfishness and by doing so causes his neighbour pain then he is breaking the new commandment Jesus gave us. Love on another as I have loved you.

This means being respectful to our brothers and sisters and not using them to satisfy our own selfish needs. It means trying to tune out the voice of our enemy who seeks to lead us all to perdition where he can hate us for not following Christ's teaching.

Many people will look at the above and possibly think it’s not for them. After all, what do they get out of all the sacrifice and abstinence? Surely it’s just boring self-restraint without anything in return?

To answer the question, firstly we need to look at the parable of the prodigal son. The focus is primarily on the brother who returned penitent to his father. We forget about the brother who stayed home. When we turn our attention to him we realise that all is not as it should be. Instead of finding a happy boy we discover that he sees his role as one akin to pressed service. He says, “Look, all these years I have slaved for you and never disobeyed a commandment of yours. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends.”

This ingratitude and it's sad because he sees his role as comparable to an unpaid servant getting nothing in return for his labours. His bitterness and jealousy goes so deep that he can't even call the other son his brother. Instead he refers to him as “this son of yours”. It doesn’t look like he’s enjoyed doing what his father asked of him to the point where he actually resents it. There is no gratefulness, no giving. He doesn’t see himself as someone who shares in his father’s wealth and he judges his brother harshly.

The father tells him that all he has also belongs to him and that he can have whatever he wants. Clearly he’s missed this and hasn’t had the relationship with his father that he could’ve. So let us not be like the son who refused to go into the banquet which was held to celebrate the return of a sinful man. Let us not be like the son who saw his life of service to his father as a chore. It’s all in the giving. We need to give ourselves to God. We need to give all of ourselves to him and understand that there are compensations such as the deep infilling which only the Holy Spirit can bring There is also wisdom, joy in the living God, life in abundance and the indwelling God as promised by Jesus when he told us that if we keep his word that both him and the father would come to us and make their home in us. We are to be still full of sap, still green. Dressed for service and eager to walk humbly with God. Like little children who look to God and tremble at his word. "For my eye is drawn to those who are contrite in spirit and tremble at my word".

We cannot refuse God anything. We need to enter fully and wholeheartedly into the mind-set that he (God) can never ask too much.

If we want to see how compassionate God is to those who commit sexual sin that we must go to scripture to find Jesus in the temple early in the morning. When a woman who had committed adultery was brought before him.

Jesus was doing what he usually did and was teaching. He’d gone to the temple first thing and waited. It didn’t take long for a crowd to gather. This happened often. Jesus would go somewhere and wait. A crowd would gather. Not a small number. But many. We don’t know on what he was teaching but you can imagine it would have probably been on the love and mercy of his father. Jesus was a passionate teacher and was fully capable of expressing himself through the full gamut of human emotions.

Imagine him now, being interrupted by the teachers of religious law and pharisees. They’d caught a woman in the act of adultery. In the act. Consider that for a moment. In the act. We can only imagine the state of her. Perhaps naked, perhaps barely covered.

They put her in front of the crowd.

From this act alone we can see that they were fully intent on humiliating her as much as possible.

This displeased Jesus because this was a daughter of Abraham himself. She had, however, for whatever reason, been with someone other than he husband. We don’t know the full extent of her circumstances but whatever they were she didn’t deserve this. Then her accusers spoke to Jesus: “This woman has been caught in the act of adultery. The law says that she is to be stoned. What do you say?”

If they knew Jesus they would’ve kept their mouths shut. If they knew Jesus they would not have taken the woman anywhere near the temple that day. They would've dealt with her quietly.

Now Jesus, being a just man and not wishing to look at her nakedness, stooped down and wrote in the sand. These educated men, who should’ve known better, kept demanding an answer. They were shoving the law of Moses in Jesus’s face knowing fine well that, by rights, he should side with it. It was a trap.

Think for a moment about Jesus’s tone of voice when he answered. Quiet and meek? I think not. This was God being put to the test. Once he’d considered how to deal with them (not with her, with them) he bellowed “All right, but let the one who has never sinned step forward and throw the first stone!”

This was Jesus - son of Joseph - putting them in their place. This is our just and loving God in action. Instead of delivering sentence on her, he delivered his verdict. On them.

Slowly, beginning with the most senior Pharisee, one by one, they slipped away. Their plan had backfired. Jesus then turned to the woman and gently asked her where her accusers were. “Is there no one to condemn you?”

“No, Lord”.

Still surrounded by the crown he released her. “Then neither do I”.

He didn't condone her behaviour because he tells her not to do it again. But she’s forgiven. By God. In person. No judgement. He sets her free.

And this is how he is with us. It doesn’t matter how many times we fall and in what state we find ourselves. He is there to pick us up, dust us down and set us on our way again. No questions asked.  

This is our God. The one who is on our side.

Jesus, full of grace and charity. Have mercy on us, for we have sinned.

Angels and marriage: God is so protective of his married couples that he gifts them with an additional guardian angel.

Annulments:

There is a difference between an annulment and a divorce.

Once vows are taken in the sight of God, only the church has authority over marriage. The government and judicial system have no power when it comes to the dissolution of the bond of holy matrimony. Yes, the courts have a legal system of divorce in place where couples can separate legally and remarry again legally in a register office but that's as far as it goes.

An annulled marriage is one where canon lawyers have concluded that no marriage ever took place. There may have been a ceremony, a marriage certificate may have been signed. But if the church finds evidence that the relationship never evolved into what it believes defines a marriage then it declares it so. It usually takes a couple of years for the process to come to completion but once the marriage is annulled then each person is free to marry in a catholic church. 

In direct contrast, if the church decides that a marriage did indeed take place then it will validate it.

Divorce, on the other hand, identifies that the relationship has broken down  irretrievably and to the point where the marriage is legally terminated. A decree absolute is issued and each person is then free (from a legal perspective) to pursue other relationships.